For My Next Trick
by chromeknickers
Summary: I was your abyss, dear friend, and now I am nothing more than skin and bones and faded memories. You tried your best to put me in chains and lock me away, but from your heart, I could not escape. I was always there. I would always be there...


**A/N:** I'd like to think this drabble represents the bitterness, envy, regret, and the indefatigable spirit of a tragically flawed man. It is to be read like a monologue, with ugh! as the sound of the narrator coughing.

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_You can put me in chains and I will escape  
Better not wait up 'cause I might be late  
I can make love disappear  
For my next trick I'll need a volunteer_

**-x-**

**For My Next Trick**

_Für das größere wohl._

For the greater good – that is what we called it: our plans, our ambitions. We were brilliant men with brilliant visions – power at our fingertips, authority on our lips. But what has come of it all now? What do they think of us – of _you_, dear friend?

I – I am the monster for saying and doing what others had only thought about, had only dreamt about in their feeble little minds. But _they_ – they dared not try. Nein. Ha ha ha! How could they – how could _you_? It is the ambitious man, the man without fear, who takes the plunge into greatness. And what a fall into greatness it was – into darkness and doubt.

Ugh! ugh!—ugh!

They told you I felt remorse in the end, did they?

Pray tell, who was there to hear the litany of my sins and guide me through my expiation? You? My loyal followers? Ha ha ha! And what end do you speak of – whose end? Mine? Ha. Nein, I will never have an end. I will always live on in the minds and hearts of the strong and determined.

Ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh!

Oh, Albus … You were always such an idealist, such a bleeding heart. You can take the rabbit out of the hat, but you cannot put it back. Can never … never put it back. Nein, nein. I have confronted my demons, knowing that there will be more to face before the end, before the string is finally cut and I return to the place before the womb. There I will meet my maker. There I will find _true_ judgement, won't I?

Hmm. You know, they never understood me like you did, Albus. You and I, we were young men caught in a fervour – no better or no worse than the rest. Our ideals were no different than the founding fathers, than the pioneers of democracy and wizardry. Only I won no war – you saw to that. Heh. Ugh! ugh! ugh! Nein, history would not be written in _my_ favour; my deeds would be recorded in the annals of sin: the most dangerous Dark Wizard of all time – nein! The _second_ most dangerous. Darkest. Greatest.

You had to go breathe life into another troubled young mind and nurture his growth – didn't you? It was always in your nature, I suppose. And when he sought power greater than yours, you turned against him, _denied_ him. He was another _me_ in your mind, another Dark Wizard to put down, another _Grindelwald_ to defeat. Ugh!

_Für das größere wohl._

For the greater good, you told that other orphan. You convinced yourself that _this_ one would not turn bad – nein, not if you encouraged him properly … from a distance. You had learnt from your past mistakes: by getting too close you had offered them your power, your love – your fidelity.

Ha ha ha! And when you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you!

I was your abyss, dear friend, and now I am nothing more than skin and bones and faded memories. You tried your best to put me in chains and lock me away, but from your heart, I could not escape. I was always there. I would _always_ be there.

They thought I had felt remorse in the end? Nein, nein, nein, nein. It was regret. _Regret_. But don't we all have our regrets, especially when our end draws near?

Ugh! ugh!—ugh!

Look at me now. I am a sorry old bastard, aren't I? I always was, you know. Heh. You, though – you were always so venial. So noble. So vulnerable. Hmm, I used your love; I know, but you let me. And when you had no desire left to follow me, I took it all away. Like a magician – _poof!_ – I made love disappear. But I couldn't bring it back. Nein. I couldn't put the stupid rabbit back in the hat. And that – _that_ – I have always regretted, always regretted using and losing you …

Ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh!

The demons, they are here now – and so is he: your first protégé. I hear him on the wind, the most dangerous Dark Wizard of all time.

Ha!

I know what he wants from me, what he desires. But this Riddle, he does not know me. Nein. Not like you – you who always knew the nature of my trickster's soul. He will not get what he wants because he is not you, Albus, and he certainly is not me. And I am not as old and defeated as he wants to believe.

Nein! The spotlight has not yet faded on this old 'magician'. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve to play.

All I need is a volunteer.

**-The End-**

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**Challenge: **Use the mood of the song _For My Next Trick I'll Need A Volunteer_ (live) by Warren Zevon to write a drabble (300-800 words), any pairing except Marauders.

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_Für das größere wohl_ – "For the greater good": Grindelwald's motto and the slogan that hung above the entrance to Nurmengard.

"_When you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you_" – paraphrased quote from Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil (Aphorism 146).


End file.
